I felt so great today. I wore these new hot shoes. Wow, those were amazing. I think I am wasting my new outfits on the folks I work with. They all look so terrible. I need to come up in there and decorate the place with something pleasing to the eye and looks like it baths.
Being happy is the best thing in the world. Being only 15 lbs away from my initial weight loss goal makes me glow. I love that fact that I have left all of that weight behind. I refuse to be fat ever again. I’d develop an eating disorder before becoming fat ever again. I promise that to you. Never again. Being an overweight woman sucks so bad. Men dislike fat woman. Society dislikes fat women. Fat women dislike fat women. Talk about discrimination. I have never had so many people want to open a door for me or say hello to me or anything. It is amazing. I trip out all the time. I get stared at a lot and it is very overwhelming. I always feel like folks are giving me looks or meaning to do me harm. I need to get out of that phase. It isn’t necessarily the case but I am real sensitive.
So I miss my friend. What can I say, I am not that evil. Coming off mean and actually being mean are two different things. I hear his voice and my heart jumps. I just really wish that he wanted me in his life. Now what do I miss about him?
I miss spending time with him and listening to his point of view. Even though his view can be totally different from mine. I miss how he is totally different then I am but we love being around each other. I miss how he looks at me and how he lets me be me even though he would never do or say the things I do. I miss how he lets me jab him and thinks it is cute when I do. I miss having my friend.
I don’t know if I want him back but I do miss him.
My pride wont let me talk to him or tell him how I feel. The reason why aren’t speaking is because he doesn’t listen to me when I communicate my feelings to him. Yet another week has gone by and we have not spoken. Will we ever be friends again? When?
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