The smell of failure

Okay, so i am having a real difficult time right now. being rejected is the worse thing ever for me right now. i just think that i am this great person so everytime a guy disses me, i just dont understand. i think i should just stop putting myself out there and call it quits. i wasnt made for all of this dating. marriage just isn't in the cards for me.

i am spending time with my work buddy and all of that magic is gone. i'm not even interested in him. i have lost all interest in every man in my world. it is so strange because i thought that i would never get over him. i am now over him and over men and relationships altogether. i dont know what is wrong. i had such a great time with this last guy and he just never called me again. he is still single. i guess he just didn't like me. i hate that feeling. not knowing what happened. rejection sucks. i dont know what happened but i am done with online dating.

in my small world i will not have any opportunities to meet new people unless i branch out and become social which i have no desire to do at this point in time. i am throwing in the towel. i am finished with romantic relationships and i am okay with being alone. when i look back now at the time spent with that last one he was a bit a an asshole with servers at restaurants and a jerk with folks at the theme park we visited. that is okay we just werent meant to be.

i am trying to figure out what i did the last time this happened to get over it and i cant remember what that was. wish i could just be over it now. how do i do that?

interesting how i was so convinced that chucky was my soulmate. goes to show what i know. he has become a great friend but not someone i would want to spend my life with. i dont think i want to spend my life with anyone. i can do it alone that way i dont have to have someone tell me what to do. marriage is overrated as far as i can tell. i dont need to get married. thought it would be nice to have someone to help me with the kids but i will do that on my own. it is okay.

being single isn't the worst thing possible.