I can't wait for 2013. This is going to be a great year. i can feel it.
for some reason i keep dreaming about guys from my past. exboyfriends and ex-crushes. it might have to do with seeing on their facebook pages that these men who wanted nothing to do with me are now in relationships with manly looking females. i mean to each their own but i look a million times better than these chicks. which leads me to believe that the way i look isn't the problem it has to be something else.
i have come into contact with someone who turned out to be real attractive so i have been thinking about him a lot. i dont think anythign will come of it because he lives far away but it is nice to think about things like that. he is real attractive. i feel like i should tell him so but he probably hears that all the time.
i feel great. i had a great lunch today burrito bowl from chipotle. i got some sun and a walk in so i am feeling good right now.
yesterday zack acted like he didnt know me. which i dont really understand what his problem is. he didnt want to walk over to a party with me. while at the party he didnt sit with me. he came over to my table later but when i wasnt there. then when i came over he left. when i would move around the room he would come near me but not talk to me. i have no idea what that is all about. it did bother me. like he didnt want anyone to know or show anyone that we were cool but he couldn't stay away. i have no idea what that is but it proves that he is garbage. if he is too ashamed of me or whatever then forget him. i have no idea what is going on but i dont have a crystal ball to figure it out. i think he is mad or something at me and isn't trying to get caught up in anything with me. especially since i experience emotions and i am loud about it. i think i made him uncomfortable. i dont really care if i do. i cant help feeling what i feel and he was concerned about me then he wouldnt allow for me to feel that way by acting the way he does. this makes sense to me but not to him. he doesnt get it.
i have been thinking about him a little but not very much. he wont let me. his family is coming in town tomorrow i think. i doubt that he will do anything with me over break or for the holiday. if he doesn't then our friendship is definately over.
i have been talking to some friend and they have given me excellent advice on the whole thing. if someone isn't treating you right this is what you do.
"You love yourself more.. When we can fully appreciate what we bring to table it's easier to evaluate who is contributing to your life and who is detracting from it. So love yourself more.. Then you will have no choice but to acknowledge your value and demand that they put more on the table if they want to stay at the table. "
i guess if iw as to take this person's advice i would just walk away.
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