Dating Flakes

Okay so I met a guy last Wednesday for coffee. We had a great time so we planned on a dinner date on Saturday at 8pm. Saturday comes and I get a call from him around 2:30. I miss the call so I call him back, he doesn't answer. I decide to text him to see if we are still on for 8 around 4:30 and he calls me and says he is sick and asks if we can reschedule. I say sure. He asks if he can call me later I say sure. I hate flakes. One thing worse is a date that flakes. He hasn't called and it is Monday.

I am so bummed. Men are the biggest disappointed in my life. Too bad it is human nature to want a companion. I think I would be able to get by without one but it is not natural.

Easter Weekend

Wow, that is all that I can say about my weekend.  I had to much going on.  I had one of the worst dates that I can remember.  This man called me names repeatedly.  He felt the need to talk non stop and when I could get a word in he did not bother to listen to me.

After the date was over,  I received a phone call on the way home from my date from him and he was telling me that I am weird.  I get home and I get an email from him telling me that I look nothing like a picture that I have posted on the internet and then I get a text message from him telling me I am a rude date because I didn’t eat or drink and I didn’t talk.  What the hell is wrong with that fool?  During our date, he felt the need to stare me down like he was a predator and I was the prey.  I did not like that feel.  He also felt the need to compliment me and try to touch me a lot.  Our first meeting I really do not think he should have been touching me that much.  He made me wait for him and he did not even look all that nice.

I am wondering where my guy is.  This person was very charming online and on the phone.  I meet him and he was just argumentative and he picked on me the whole time.  I mean since when was name calling a cool thing to do on a first date.  He is so fired.  I do not want to see him ever again.  During our date, I was thinking about my old guy friend at work.  We had way better chemistry then I did with that date. 

I actually succeeded in my quest for attention from work guy at the meeting last week.  I came in looking awesome.  I received a bunch of compliments on my look that day and in front of Mr. Let’s-Just-Be-Friends. He could not take his eyes off of me.  I wonder what that was all about.  I sat down first on the end and then he stood behind me for a while like he was thinking very carefully about where he wanted to go.  I did not look at him or turn around.  Before I sat down, I walked up and he was already there.  He said hello to me and i said hello then this other person came up and said i looked amazing and i said thank you. 

Anyway, I really wanted to see if he was looking at me but that would require me to turn around.  I could see him out of the corner of my eye watching me sucking on my sucker. It was like I had the upper hand.  Looking great, feeling great and intimidating men all around I love this so much.  I have a feeling now that he is going to talk to me sometime soon.  He was pacing past my desk several times that day.  When before he wouldn’t dare stop by.  I wonder what that means other then I looked nice that day. 

Leave them wanting more.

Just got home from a date

Okay, so I was very excited about this date.  All day I have been looking forward to spending time with this guy.  I am waiting for him to show up.  He shows up at the table and sits across from me.  I smile and his eyes are barely open.  We try to have a conversation and I can barely hear him with his soft toned voice.  The restaurant he chose is very loud with large groups of people surrounding us.

He did not make me laugh and he did not laugh at my jokes.  All that he did was argue with me and call me names.  Maybe that is his way of flirting with me but it makes me defensive.  We had dinner and I wanted to go home but we went out for coffee.  I thought that some one on one time together in a quiet coffee shop he could redeem himself.  He did not.  All he did was say these negative things to me and stare at me.  He didn’t like how I wouldn’t make eye contact with him but he would stare me down.  I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea so I didn’t look at him long.  I would look at other things.  It was way too intimidating for a first time meeting someone and date.  We did talk on the phone for three days straight and had a great time talking on the phone.  I didn’t like how he talks at me.  He tells stories non stop.  Talk, talk, talk and he doesn’t listen to me when I talk. 

I barely get a word in and he tells me he doesn’t remember me saying things and i’m like well that’s because you weren’t listening to me.  i am so over this guy.

after our date he drops me off at my car and i thought there would be an awkward moment where i would have to dodger a kiss from him.  that did not happen.  thank god.  I was not feeling this guy at all toward the end.  I can only take so much criticism.  I’m in my car and I decide to call this other guy that called me while I was on this date.  As I am on the phone with him, the other dude calls.  I don’t answer and it is a good thing I didn’t.  He left me a message telling me that I am weird.  What does that mean.  I am weird.  Fine.  I will be weird.  I wasn’t attracted to him and I would not be able to ever hook up with him.  I guess that is the end of the relationship.  I can’t even talk to him on the phone.  He mumbles.  I can’t hear him.  It is frustrating.  I thought I would feel bad but I don’t.  he and i dont mix.

What kind of guy calls you while you are driving home from their date to tell you that you were acting weird.  Fine.  I will be weird as long as I dont have to be with you.

What i thought was real interesting is how much i was thinking about Jason while i was on this date.  I kept thinking about Jason and his kids and how much I liked Jason and enjoyed talking to him.  I thought about how I wanted him to be jealous when and if he heard me talking on the phone with this guy.  i thought Jason was it for me.  He doesn’t like me at all.  I look great these days.  I work out and I am dropping lbs and I feel great about myself.  Jason and I haven’t spoken in two months.  He is okay with that.  He sucks. I dont know how you can hate me but he does and this other guy does too.  I pretty much suck I guess. 

At dinner, this guy kept telling me how cute he thought I was.  He kept trying to touch me and tell me how he wants to cuddle with me.  Telling me how he wants me to come over to his house.  I don’t like him.  I'm not attracted to him.  He was intimidated by me because I look tall.  I am sorry he is not 6’0 tall if i am taller then him in heels.  They weren’t that high.  What a liar.  He was intimidated by my height.  Whatever.  I need a taller man and one who doesn’t suck ass and talk shit about me to me on our first date. 

All I know now is that I am freezing and I can check mark this guy off of my list.  I was scared that I was going to have a bunch of guys that I like and have to pick one but so far there are no guys that I like just possibilities right now.  I guess i have to keep things short and sweet and i have to do a coffee date before a dinner date.  or an ice cream date.  i think i will think of better dates to do then the dinner date or the coffee date.  something more original. you know what i mean.  something cool.

It’s the end of the week

Thank goodness this week is over.  I have no idea what I have been doing but a week at work flew by and I don’t know what happened.  It is probably better that I don’t.

I have a busy weekend ahead of me and I am more than ready to start kicking asses and taking names.  I am no nonsense right now.  Condo hunt 2010.  I will get one for sure.  I only have 4 weeks to find one.  I will pick one this weekend.  That’s how great I am.  Cool beans.  Now me finding a man is way more tricky then finding a home.   Well, it might be just as difficult if I have lame ass realtors to deal with.  Why can’t they get their shit together?  LAME.

Loving Drake’s music loving it.  I am feeling really great. Walking five miles a day really changes your outlook on things.  Things that meant the world to me before are nothing now.  I love it like that.  Not sweating the small stuff is great.  If only the boyfriend thing was something small.  I am worried but not as much as before.  I am not sure how to go about finding this next man of mine.  The dating websites I am on, I have no idea who they work for?

Well, tomorrow I go house hunting.  This should be fun.  That is if the dumb ass realtor comes through.  I have two right now because I haven’t decided which one to go with.  So far, one is looking better then the other but not by much.  They are both lame.

Time Change is not In My Favor

I have had some week.  I can’t even remember the things I wore on the previous day.  I hope that I’m not wearing the same thing everyday.  '

I just spent ten minutes crying after watching a preview for the movie The Blind Side. I love inspirational movies like that.  I love them.  Just like the movie Freedom Writers.  My Goodness maybe I shouldn’t be watching movies right about now.  I am feeling real fragile. 

After yesterday, when I typed that I loved Jason even without my knowledge of this love I have been terrified.  I sent him a message but he doesn’t want anything to do with me. 

St. Patricks Day

I went ahead and bit the bullet yesterday and sent a text to my buddy. He did not text me back so yes he is very upset with me. My horoscope for the day says this:

If you're single, it's going to be a bumpy night. The last person on earth you'd ever expect to reveal secret feelings to you will be the first one who'll do it. Of course, you've been trying to tell yourself those suspicions you've had were wrong; at this point, you need to buckle down and admit they were right on. And if you think about it, how could you possibly blame them?

I am hoping that this actually happens today. I would love to hear all about this. Recently, none of my horoscopes have come true but they have been a little more specific then usual. It is strange but nothing has happened. Maybe they should stick to very vague ones.

okay okay

I felt so great today.  I wore these new hot shoes.  Wow, those were amazing.  I think I am wasting my new outfits on the folks I work with.  They all look so terrible.  I need to come up in there and decorate the place with something pleasing to the eye and looks like it baths.

Being happy is the best thing in the world.  Being only 15 lbs away from my initial weight loss goal makes me glow.  I love that fact that I have left all of that weight behind.  I refuse to be fat ever again.  I’d develop an eating disorder before becoming fat ever again.  I promise that to you.  Never again.  Being an overweight woman sucks so bad.  Men dislike fat woman.  Society dislikes fat women.  Fat women dislike fat women.  Talk about discrimination.  I have never had so many people want to open a door for me or say hello to me or anything.  It is amazing.  I trip out all the time.  I get stared at a lot and it is very overwhelming.  I always feel like folks are giving me looks or meaning to do me harm.  I need to get out of that phase.  It isn’t necessarily the case but I am real sensitive.

So I miss my friend.  What can I say, I am not that evil.  Coming off mean and actually being mean are two different things.  I hear his voice and my heart jumps.  I just really wish that he wanted me in his life.  Now what do I miss about him?

I miss spending time with him and listening to his point of view.  Even though his view can be totally different from mine.  I miss how he is totally different then I am but we love being around each other.  I miss how he looks at me and how he lets me be me even though he would never do or say the things I do.  I miss how he lets me jab him and thinks it is cute when I do.  I miss having my friend. 

I don’t know if I want him back but I do miss him. 

My pride wont let me talk to him or tell him how I feel.  The reason why aren’t speaking is because he doesn’t listen to me when I communicate my feelings to him.  Yet another week has gone by and we have not spoken.  Will we ever be friends again?  When?